Image by Dimitris Vetsikas
In This Article:
- Why women often settle for less in relationships
- The emotional cost of silence and codependence
- How to speak up and honor your inner voice
- Ways to reclaim equality and self-worth in love
- The ripple effect of self-respect on romantic partnerships
What All Women Deserve in a Relationship
by Joyce Vissell, co-author of the book: A Couple of Miracles
It amazes Barry and I how many women are still settling for less than they deserve in their relationships with men. The women's movement of the sixties has done much to liberate women in their careers. Fathers are now helping more than ever with child care responsibilities. Women are crowding the health clubs and marathons getting physically strong and healthy. Yet in the area of relationships, many women are settling for far less than they deserve, and they hesitate to speak this truth. Often a "yes" is said, when a "no" would be more appropriate.
Sometimes they put up with certain behaviors because they are afraid to take a stand. Too many women feel emotionally or even physically bullied. And often, the man has little or no awareness that he is overpowering his partner. Our counseling practice often contains couples in this situation. Many of the women we see do not know they are being bullied. It can be that subtle.
Women who do not have an equal place in relationships with men need to take responsibility for themselves. Women need to know that they deserve to be totally loved, accepted and heard. They need to know that their voice is equally as powerful and needed in the relationship as the man's.
Learning to Speak Up
I had to learn how to speak up for my feelings and thoughts. Like many women, I was raised to give my power to the males.
In the beginning of my relationship with Barry, I yielded to his decisions even when they didn't feel right for me. This got me, and us, into trouble. I remember once, when our first child was a baby, Barry wanted to take us to a special place. His intentions were good, but I felt a strong "no" inside of me.
His enthusiasm overruled my feeling of wrongness, and I gave in. It turned out to be a disaster. Our VW bus broke down on a very primitive dirt road miles from civilization. Our baby cried the whole time. And I was angry with Barry. But I was angrier at myself for not holding firm to what I knew in my heart.
Full Equality
Many women are aware of the possibility of a totally equal relationship with a man but are unaware of how to attain this. The whole key is in knowing that we as women deserve this. This is our birthright, and it is time to fully bring it into being.
When women do not feel that we deserve full equality in the relationship, we will do several things. First, and most common, we will suppress our needs, making our partners' needs more important. This is codependence.
Second, we will take an attitude of "all men are out to use me, therefore I will avoid them." This is the paranoid approach.
The third is to use anger and nagging to try to get the love and equality we are wanting. This is trying to be outwardly powerful, but lacks love of self, and therefore is but a desperate attempt.
None of these methods work. What is needed is to go right to the source of the difficulty, the feeling of being undeserving or not worthy of love. We can enjoy an equal role with our partner, be loved, accepted and heard. We must first be willing to feel worthy of such love from a man.
Love and Respect
When we truly know ourself and therefore, know that we deserve love and respect, then we will naturally draw that out of our partner. He will want to love us in a special way because we love and have respect for ourselves.
A woman who knows that she is worthy will be able to communicate her needs to a man in a way that makes him want to give to her. There won't need to be nagging or fearful hesitation. There won't be any walking on eggshells out of fear of upsetting him.
I want to fully support women in letting go of all feelings of unworthiness and coming fully into the realization of divine birthright and value. We, as women, deserve to be seen, heard, loved and honored in our relationships with men. We will then have the power to love and honor our man, for he deserves this same special love.
Copyright 2025 by Joyce Vissell.
Published with permission. All Rights Reserved.
Book by this Author(s): A Couple of Miracles
A Couple of Miracles: One Couple, More Than a Few Miracles
by Barry and Joyce Vissell.
We write our story, not only to entertain you, our readers, and certainly you will be entertained, but more so to inspire you. One thing we have learned after seventy-five years in these bodies, living on this earth, is that all of us have lives filled with miracles.
We sincerely hope you will look at your own lives with new eyes, and discover the miraculous in so many of your own stories. Like Einstein said, “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
Click here for more info and/or to order this book. Also available as a Kindle edition.
About the Author(s)
Joyce & Barry Vissell, a nurse/therapist and psychiatrist couple since 1964, are counselors, near Santa Cruz CA, who are passionate about conscious relationship and personal-spiritual growth. They are the authors of 10 books, their latest being A Couple of Miracles: One Couple, More Than a Few Miracles.
Visit their website at SharedHeart.org for their free weekly 10–15-minute inspirational videos, inspiring past articles on many topics about relationship and living from the heart, or to book a counseling session on-line or in person.
More books by these authors
Article Recap:
In this heartfelt article, Joyce Vissell explores why many women settle for less in their relationships and how this pattern is rooted in feelings of unworthiness. Through personal reflection and experience, she encourages women to recognize their value, speak their truth, and demand the respect and equality they deserve. True love begins with self-love.
#WomenDeserveBetter #RelationshipEquality #EmpoweredWomen #HealthyLove #JoyceVissell #WomensVoicesMatter #KnowYourWorth #LoveAndRespect #EmotionalEmpowerment
